What a Life
by JaredJensenLuvr
Summary: This is a story chronicling the life and times of The Winchesters. Starts as Weechester and goes all the way to Sam and Dean in present day as adults.
1. The Start

**A/N: Parts of the story will be narrated in Dean's POV and other parts will be in noone's POV. I might even make some later chapters from other characters POV's. It's pretty easy to tell when it's from a POV or not and I'll try to make sure I destinguish whos POV it's from. This is my first multi-chapter story, so please be patient with me and comments are always wanted so I know what is working and what isn't. I also just want to know if my story and my writing are any good because I want to write for a TV show some day. So please comment! Hope you enjoy! =)**

_**Chapter 1**_

**(Dean's POV)**

I was only four years old on the night of May 2nd 1983; the night my whole life would change, but I remember it still. I remember the heat, the confusion, the overwhelming sense of responsibility for my baby brother. My dad entrusted me with his safety, a habit I have never grown out of. As I ran out of my house with my baby brother in my arms, not looking back as my father instructed me. I had no idea that at that moment my mother was dying. I would never see her face again, However I still remember it perfectly, that beautiful face with the most caring smile that has never been surpassed in my 30 years. I loved my mother with everything I had and for some reason she was taken from me. Not only from me but from dad and from Sammy. It would not be until years later that I would learn why and when I did it would consume my life and that of my families forever.

I learned the truth when I was still really young, a demon. A demon killed my mother. My father was consumed with finding her killer and in the process killing as much evil as he could find. He never really had time to be much of a dad. I learned how to take care of myself a long time ago. I was just worried about Sammy. He never got a chance to know our mom.

My dad took me shooting when I was only 6 years old, that was only a year after I saw him kill what I would later learn was a shapeshifter. He was getting me ready.

Sammy started asking me questions about our mom and what our dad did on a daily basis when he turned 6 years old. It was my responsibility to look after him, to protect him, just like I aways had. From the moment my dad put him in my arms on that fateful night. I would never let him fall and get hurt. And I would protect him from this too as long as I could, I just want him to be a kid and to have his innocence for as long as possible.

At age 11 I already had my first gun. Most kids were getting action figures of their favorite super heroes, I didn't need that, My hero was real and right in front of me, my dad.

Of course Sam being the smart kid that he was eventually he figured it out and of course it was my job to comfort him, as he cried in a rundown motel room on Christmas Eve after learning the one thing I always tried to protect him from. Our dad was nowhere to be found.

I admired my dad, he was my hero, out saving lives but I always wished he would have been more of a dad and less of a drill sergeant.

Dad gave Sammy a .45 when he was 9 years old because he thought he saw a monster in his closet. Most people might think of that as bad parenting but when you know the things we know, that's just a precaution.

When I was 17 I finally got to go on my first solo hunt. I had to go take care of the ghosts of two nuns haunting a mission in Riverton, Wyoming. It felt so amazing to be all by myself on a hunt. It was all on my shoulders and all my responsibility, even though I knew that my dad was not far away in case I got into any trouble. The hunt was a little scary and tense but I got the job done and that's all that matters.

Sammy always rebeled against the family business he never wanted to be a part of this life and truthfully I can't say I blamed him a lot of the time. He didn't even remember mom, how could we expect him to fully understand why we were doing this but try telling that to John Winchester and actually having him take the time and listen.

My dad and Sam are so much alike it's scary, people often say I'm the most like dad but I know that's not true. They are the two most stubborn people I have ever met and lucky me I'm always stuck smack in the middle of it.

(1997)

John- Sam the answer is no..

Sam- Why can't I just play soccer. You would rather just take Dean anyway

John- I want both of you to come. Ok.. now that's final

Sam- You never let me do anything normal. All I want to do is be normal

John- You're not normal Sam, this whole family is not normal. You need to accept that

Sam- Yeah well this family blows

Dean- Sammy....

(Sam storms out of the room and runs upstairs to his room)

John- (sighs) I don't know what to do with him...

Dean- I'll talk to him

John- You always were better at getting through to him

Dean- Yeah

(Dean leaves the living room and walks upstairs to find Sam laying face-up on his bed in the room that they share)

Dean- That was quite the performance

Sam- Shut up, Dean

Dean- Sammy come on don't be like this

Sam- Don't be like what Dean!?

Dean- You know dad is just doing what he thinks is best, ,he's trying to protect you

Sam- You can't honestly believe that. How is playing soccer more dangerous than hunting monsters? Are you really trying to get me to buy that crap

Dean- You know that's not what I mean

Sam- Then what do you mean Dean? I mean please explain it to me

Dean- He doesn't want to leave you here alone for one and two hunting is more important. The more you hunt, the better you will be and the easier it will be to protect yourself against the things we face out there. What is soccer gonna get you?

Sam- I never asked for this

Dean- You think I did? I didn't ask to be put in this life either Sammy. But it's what we've got.

Sam- At least you got to see what it was like to be normal. I never did it's not fair

Dean- Dude, I wasn't playing much soccer at age 4

Sam- Don't turn this into a joke, I'm serious

Dean- Sorry....

Sam- I just want to be normal. I just want to go to school and have friends. Why can't I just not be a freak?

Dean- Well changing that mop of hair on your head might help (chuckles)

Sam- (sighs and stands up to leave) Dean...

(Dean pushes him back down)

Dean-(laughing) Hold on... I'm sorry you just set those up so beautifully... (Sam isn't laughing).... sorry... But in all honesty I barely remember what it is to be normal, to not be hunting we're in the same boat here kid

Sam- Yeah I guess but at least you remember mom

Dean- Sammy I know how hard that is on you...

Sam- And dad never talks about her. He never explains it..

Dean- I know but he can't. You know dad. But whatever you want to hear about mom, i'll tell you everything I remember about her.

Sam- Thanks Dean

Dean- No problem. Now come on we got school, you gonna be ok?

Sam- Yeah

Dean- Sammy.... you lyin'?

Sam- No, I'm fine

Dean- Promise?

Sam- Promise..

Dean- Ok good.. because I hate these chick flick moments you always make me have

Sam- You always know how to ruin the moment

Dean- Yup..

(They both smile at each other)

Truman High School, I hated that school. The people there were all shallow, all they cared about was what their stupid little high school drama, if only they knew what was out there in the world. Then there was this kid named Dirk who picked on Sam's friend, Barry. Sammy being Sammy always stood up for the kid. One day Sam kicked the living crap out of Dirk who was twice his size. That didn't go over so well with the school or dad for that matter. When John has to take time out of his busy schedule to do anything that could have been avoided, he is not a happy camper. So when the school called him and told him he needed tp pick Sam up early for fighting at school. Yeah, At least dad didn't kill him.

John- What were you thinking Sam? Beating up that boy..

Sam- You've got to be kidding me, I was defending myself and Barry

John- Who's Barry?

Sam- My friend. You taught me how to fight and now you're telling me you don't want me to fight. That's fair.

Joh- I taught you those skills so you could defend yourself on the hunt, not against some high school bully. You can't bring that kind of attention to yourself.

Sam- This is ridiculous

John- When we get home go straight to your room and clean the guns........Sam

Sam- Yes sir

(Later when Dean gets home from school)

Dean- So I heard a rumor today that some twerpy little kid beat the shit out of a bully twice his size.. now when I heard that I couldn't think of for the life of me who the kid could've been (Sam rolls his eyes) What happened?

Sam- Dirk was pounding on Barry again so I helped him

Dean- That's my boy

Sam- Yeah I wish dad would've had the same reaction

Dean- You get in trouble?

Sam- Well I'm not cleaning the guns for fun here Dean

Dean- Alright smartass.. If you stop being a little jerk I'll go talk to dad for you

Sam- Really?

Dean- Yeah although it is dad so who knows how successful I'll be. So you really laid Dirk out huh?

Sam- Oh yeah

Dean- I'm proud of you little brother

Sam- Thanks Dean

Dean- Just don't make a habit out of it (laughs and ruffels Sam's hair)

Sam- I don't plan on it

(Dean goes downstairs to talk to John who is in the kitchen researching his latest hunt)

Dean- Hey dad you got a second?

John- Not really Dean

Dean- Uh.. It's about Sammy

John- What about him?

Dean- Do you really think it's fair to punish him?

John- He beat up a kid at school

Dean- Yeah but dad the kid deserved it, he beats up on Sam's friend on a daily basis. Sammy is just trying to help this kid out. He did the right thing.

John- A high school bully is not that big of a deal. Especially compared to what we face

Dean- To me and Sam no, we can handle ourselves but Barry isn't a trained hunter. Dirk is the worst thing in his world right now. How can you punish Sam for protecting someone weaker than him, that's what you always taught us to do, he's just following your teachings.

John- Still....

Dean- (interupting John) Are you more mad that he beat this kid up and you think it's wrong or that he drew attention to himself. That's the real question?

(After a long pause)

John- (sighs) You're right

Dean- I am..

John- Yes and I hate it, but you make some good solid points. Go tell your brother he's not in trouble anymore

Dean- You sure you don't want to do that. I think it might mean a lot to him if you were the one to tell him.

John- He'll be fine

Dean- Yeah whatever you say

John- Excuse me.. Is there something you want to say to me Dean?

Dean- It's just.. sometimes I think you're a little too hard on him. He's just a kid

John- He can't afford to be a kid

Dean- But he is a kid and sometimes you forget that. It's hard for him to understand all that we do. Sometimes he just wants to be a normal kid like everyone else

John- And get beat up by bullies

Dean- Yes.. he'd do anything to be normal even if it meant getting his ass kicked everyday.....

(Dean sighs and leaves to go up and tell Sam the news.. John sits and thinks about everything Dean just said to him)

Dean- How much do you love me?

Sam- What?

Dean- How much do you love me right now?

Sam- (confused) Uh... a lot

Dean- I got you off the hook

Sam- (Happy) Are you serious!? How?

Dean- I pleaded your case and got the conviction overturned... Dude, I'm Matlock

Sam- (Sarcastic) Yeah, you're Matlock

Dean- Hey did I not get the warden to let you out

Sam- You did

Dean- (points to himself) Matlock

Sam- (laughs) Thanks Dean

Dean- No problem kiddo, so what are you gonna do now that you're not stuck cleaning the guns, which personally I think is fun....

Sam- Weirdo....... I have some homework to do..

Dean- Homework? You've got to be kidding me, I went into the lions den to get you off the hook so you could do homework..

Sam- Uh yeah I guess so

Dean- Yeah and I'm the weirdo..

(Dean walks out of the room completely disgusted with Sam..)

(The next morning John is in the kitchen getting ready for his next hunt)

Sam- Morning dad

John- Sam

Sam- Um.. sorry for yesterday. I messed up

John- No you didn't. I didn't look at the circumstances behind the situation. You did the right thing?

Sam- Really?

John- Yeah I'm proud of you.

Sam- Thanks Dad (Sam looks at all John's stuff) new hunt?

John- Yup

Sam- I guess I should pack then ( not real happy)

John- Not this time. You and Dean are staying here

Sam- What?

John- Yeah it's a small hunt I can handle it on my own. Plus you have a soccer game this weekend right?

Sam- Uh yeah it's the divisional championship

John- Don't let me down boy

Sam- (trying unsuccesfully to hide his smile) Uh.. no sir I won't.. Thanks dad.. (Sam hugs him and then runs back up to his room)

(Dean who was listening to the whole conversation walks into the kitchen smiling at John)

John- What?

Dean- Who knew John Winchester had a soft side?

John- That's enough

Dean- Thanks dad...

John- (looks at Dean seriously) You're welcome

(Dean walks over to the front door and yells)

Dean- Sam hurry your ass up we've got school

Sam- I'm comin......(Sam runs down) Bye dad. Good luck on the hunt and thanks again

John- You boys be good

Dean/Sam- Yes sir

Dean- Call if you need anything

John- Will do

Dean- Bye

John- Later boys

(Sam and Dean walk out the door.. John looks at the spot they were just standing in for awhile after they left and then he laughs--- happy)

(Lunchtime Dirk walks up to Sam)

Dirk- Hey there Winchester

Sam- What do you want Dirk?

Dirk- Just wanted to let you know your little buddy Barry is gonna get it twice as hard now

Sam- Why don't you just leave him alone. What satisfaction do you get out of beating up someone so much weaker than you are?

Dirk- It's fun

Sam- You're such a jerk

Dirk- Yeah you're right and Barry is gonna see just how true that can be

Sam- Not as long as I'm around

(Dirk scoffs and walks away)

(After school while Sam and Dean are walking home, John is on the hunt so he couldn't pick them up)

Sam- Dirk's never gonna leave Barry alone

Dean- Sam I know Barry's your friend and you feel responsible for him but it's really not your problem

Sam- Yes it is. Dirk says he's gonna beat him twice as hard now because I kicked his ass.. It's my fault

Dean- No it's not Dirk's just messing with your head. He would beat him up whether you did anything or not. It's not your fault

Sam- I guess you're right

Dean- Of course I am

Sam- I just wish I knew how to really help him

Dean- You're just a kid Sam you're doing all you can. Don't worry so much

Sam- I can't help it

(They walk up to the house and Sam notices that the door is slightly open.)

Sam- Dean.... (He points to the door)

Dean- Stay behind me. Stay close

(They both walk into the house looking around for anything out of the ordinary when all of a sudden something jumps out from inside the kitchen........)


	2. 1997

_**(Chapter 2)**_

_**Previously On:**_

_**Sam and Dean walk up to the house and Sam notices that the door is slightly open.**_

_**Sam- Dean.... (He points to the door)**_

_**Dean- Stay behind me. Stay close**_

_**They both walk into the house looking around for anything out of the ordinary when all of a sudden something jumps out from inside the kitchen........**_

The lights were off in the house which caused it to be very difficult to see straight so Dean quickly without hesitation grabbed the intruder using every defensive technique his dad ever taught him. To protect not only himself but his brother from what he believed to be a dangerous and immediate threat. Despite his best efforts the intruder slammed Dean to the ground.

Bobby- You idjits

Dean- Bobby?

Bobby- Yeah boy who'd you think it was

Bobby gives Dean a hand up

Dean- Oh I don't know anything ranging from a burgler to a demon

Bobby- Well I'm no demon and you guys don't got anything worth stealing so..

Dean- Funny

Sam- What are you doing here Bobby?

Bobby- Your daddy called, wanted me to stop in and look after y'all while he's away

Dean- I can handle it on my own

Bobby- I'm sure you can Dean but you know how Johnnie can be. Plus I owed him a favor, this makes us even.

Sam- Well it's good to see you Bobby

Bobby- You too squirt

Sam- (sighs) I hate it when you call me that

Dean- You are a squirt

Sam- I bet I'm taller than you one day

Dean- (scoffs) Keep praying there Sammy. So how've you been Bobby?

Bobby- Good. Been laying low, not doin' much hunting these days. Mostly just helping out other hunters.

Sam- You bring any of your books with you?

Bobby- Just for you boy. Here you go (Bobby hands Sam two huge books) I think you'll really like these ones

Sam- Awesome!

Sam runs off to his room to start reading the books

Dean- Jesus Bobby those books are bigger than he is

Bobby- You know your brother is a smart kid. His researching ability is going to help you a lot out on hunts

Dean- Oh I definitely know that. Who do you think he tells about all the stuff he learns from reading those books. So did dad tell you anything about the hunt he's on

Bobby- Nope, don't think he knows quite what he's dealing with yet but don't worry I'm sure he's fine.

Dean- It's dad, of course he's fine.

The next Monday morning me and Sammy woke up and went to school. Just like we had everyday for the last 2 months. To be honest I was getting a little sick of the constant routine of waking up, going to school and then coming home. It wasn't nearly as exciting as hunting down monsters. Sam however loved it. That past weekend his team won the divisional soccer championship and he was absolutely beaming. As happy as I was to see Sammy happy for once, I needed to get out of this school as soon as possible. Luckily, I wouldn't have to wait much longer.

My last day of school sucked. I had been seeing this girl Amanda and well I wasn't quite as serious about her as she was about me. She caught me with another girl and went off about how I wasn't grown up, telling me that I was sad and she felt sorry for me. Who the hell does she think she is, if it wasn't for me and my family dozens of innocent people would be dead. What has she accomplished in her life that has actually made a difference. Sam's last day was also as eventful as mine, he beat up Dirk, again. The kids at school looked at Sam as a hero after that, as someone who stood up for the underdog and took down bullies. I know he wanted to stay but after listening to Amanda give me a verbal beating I got the call that I had been desperately waiting for.

Dean- Hey Bobby

Bobby- Dean your dad needs you boys. I'm comin' to pick you guys up. Then we need to get you boys home and you need to pack your stuff

Dean- Finally

Dean spends about ten minutes anxiously looking for Sam. He finally sees him standing in the hallway talking to Barry

Dean- Sammy come on we got to go

Sam- Where?

Dean gives him a sad knowing look. Even though Dean was happy to be leaving he knew that it would crush Sam.

Sam- We're moving again aren't we?

Dean- Yeah... Come on Bobby's on his way to pick us up. We gotta go

Sam looks back at Barry. Barry has a sad/scared look on his face. Not only was Barry loosing the best and only real friend he ever had, he was also loosing the one person he could count on to protect him.

Dean- See ya Barry... (Dean starts walking away) Sammy come on...

Sam turns away from Barry and follows Dean out of the school.

Bobby pulls up in front of the school in his car. Dean quickly gets into the car. Before he gets into the car Sam stops and looks back up at the school that he had been in for 2 months wondering if he would ever get a chance to stay in a school for longer than that. Maybe even an entire year. Then as he looks around he spots Barry looking out one of the top windows. Sam waved to Barry and Barry gave him a sad wave back. Then Sam followed Dean into the car and they drove away from Truman High School.

Back at the house Sam and Dean are packing up.

Sam- I can't believe dad is dragging us along on another hunt

Dean- Sam, give it a rest not all of us hate it like you do. I mean you can't honestly tell me you liked it at that school

Sam- Yeah I did actually. I liked being in the same place for longer than a few weeks. The last time we were in a school that long was in North Carolina

Dean- Yeah I loved that school

Sam- Me too, we had friends there and dad made us move. As always and now he's doing it again

Dean- Sam that's the job. He needs us, we have to go. You have to understand that

Sam- I know but it sucks.

Dean- Tell me about it. You still keep in touch with anyone from North Carolina

Sam- Yeah I still talk to Brooke

Dean- Oh yeah Brooke Robinson. Your little girlfriend

Sam- She was never my girlfriend. She's just a friend

Dean- I never understood why. I mean for a 13 year old she was hot.

Sam- Whatever

Dean-Hey uh.... Sammy.. when you're talking to Brooke does she ever mention her sister?

Sam- Chloe? Dude she's only 7. That's a little young even by your low standards

Dean- Yeah thanks smartass. I meant Kate

Sam- Oh your ex girlfriend Kate...

Dean- Yeah that Kate

Sam- No, she doesn't mention her

Sam gives Dean a huge joking smile because he is lying just to torture Dean

Dean- I'm gonna kill you

Sam- Good luck with that

Sam grabs his bag and walks out of the room with a smirk on his face leaving Dean completely pissed off

Dean- I'm gonna kill him

After the boys finish packing up the small amount of belongings they have, they jump into Bobby's car and set out on the long drive to meet up with John in a small Ohio town.

After hours of driving the boys and Bobby finally arrive at their destination, a small rundown motel room that they would be calling home for the next few weeks.

John- Boys go out to the car and unpack your stuff. How was the ride Bobby? Hope the boys didn't cause you too much trouble

Bobby- No, no trouble at all. You know I love spending time with the boys.

Sam and Dean come back into the room carying all their belongings. Sam is still extremely pissed off about leaving Truman. John notices this.

John- How ya doin Sammy?

Sam- Like you care

Dean- Sammy..

John- Excuse me?

Sam- You heard me

John- Yeah I did and you better lose the attitude and start showing me some respect

Sam- So I guess the whole nice dad thing was just an act huh. We're back to drill sergeant John I guess now

John- Sam you seriously better watch it

Sam- Or what? Why did we have to leave? What is Barry gonna do without me? He's gonna get destroyed

John- Is that what this is about? You're worried about some nerdy little kid.

Sam- He's my friend

John- You can't afford to have friends remember. You can't have any connections, you know that

Sam- Maybe that's easy for you but some of us aren't heartless like you

Dean- Sammy outside now!

Sam- No

Dean- Get outside now, don't make me ask you again.

Sam with a huff slams out the door. Dean follows closely behind

Dean- What the hell was that?

Sam- What? I was just telling the truth

Dean- No, you were just being a little brat. Why can't you just do what dad says without fighting about it for once in your life?

Sam- Why am I not surprised you're taking dad's side

Dean- What does that mean?

Sam- You always take dad's side and you never see where I'm coming from. Do you know how much it hurts that you never think I have reason to disagree with him. He's not always right

Dean- Yeah and neither are you

Sam- I know that. But even if I was right you wouldn't care because you obviously don't care about me

Dean- That's ridiculous

Sam- Is it? Then why don't you ever care how I feel

Dean- I do Sammy

Sam- As long as it doesn't involve dad. He hates me Dean

Dean- No he doesn't how can you even think that?

Sam- It's true! He's never cared about me the way he does you. He thinks I'm a freak and now Barry is going to get beaten up twice as hard because I'm not there to protect him.

Dean- Sam I'm sure he'll be fine. And about dad I....

Sam- It's ok Dean. You don't have to say anything. I know that's never gonna change and it's fine. I appreciate you trying to help though.

Sam walks back into the hotel room. Dean continues to stand there a second longer after hearing how Sam has felt about him and John for his whole life. He never knew that Sam felt that way. He never wanted to hurt Sam, that's the last thing he wanted to do.

John- Alright boys get some sleep we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow

Sam and Dean share a bed as they always do. Dean waits until John is asleep to talk to Sam

Dean- Hey Sam you awake

Sam- Yeah

Dean- Listen I'm sorry ok. I didn't know you felt that way

Sam- It's fine

Dean- No it's not. I never want you to think that I don't care about you or that dad doesn't care about you because that couldn't be further from the truth. A lot of the time I think dad cares about you the most

Sam- Yeah right. You are the prodigal son. You're basically a dad clone

Dean- I know but still.

Sam- I know I can be a bit much sometimes

Dean- Haha you ain't kidding brother

Sam- Sorry

Dean- It's fine. You're my baby brother you're supposed to be a pain in my ass

Sam and Dean both laugh

Dean- Now get some sleep Sammy

Sam- Night Dean

Dean- Night.

The next morning John wakes the boys up early so they can get a move and finish his hunt.

The hunt was actually fairly easy after having all three Winchesters and Bobby on the case, not long

after the hunt the boys and John moved into what would be their new residence for at least the forseeable future. But like most things in the Winchester's lives nothing stays the same for very long. So Sam and Dean were not going to make the mistake of becoming comfortable in that place, a mistake they had made on more than one occasion before.


	3. 1998

_**(Chapter 3)**_

_**A/N: I know I haven't updated in a long time but I was really busy and couldn't quite think of where I wanted the story to go. After this chapter there will be no more moving for the Winchesters, for one because I feel like it's getting kind of repetitive lol. Not sure if anyone actually cares about this story or not but if you do I hope you enjoy this! =)**_

_**Previously On:**_

_**The hunt was actually fairly easy after having all three Winchesters and Bobby on the case, not long **_

_**after the hunt the boys and John moved into what would be their new residence for at least the forseeable future. But like most things in the Winchester's lives nothing stays the same for very long. So Sam and Dean were not going to make the mistake of becoming comfortable in that place, a mistake they had made on more than one occasion before.**_

_**__________________________________________________________________________________**_

Today was Dean's 18th birthday. I was really happy that we were home for his birthday, well as much as a rundown hotel room can be a home. Dad told Dean he had a good present for him this year, my guess was that we would be spending his birthday on yet another hunt. Unlike me Dean enjoyed hunting, sometimes I wondered how we could be so different but so alike at the same time.

John- Dean can you come outside for me please?

Dean- Uh yeah

Dean and I exchanged looks and then we both went outside not quite sure what was going on. When we got outside we saw our dad standing next to the Impala, nothing out of the ordinary.

John- Happy Birthday Dean

Dean- Uh.. thanks. What's....... Wait, you mean?

John- Yeah... she's yours Dean..

Dean- Are you serious?

John- Yeah dude.. I know how much you love this car.

Dean- That's amazing! Wait... but what are you gonna drive?

Dad turned around and pointed to a humungous big black truck on the other side of the parking lot.

Sam- Geez dad that's really inconspicuous.. It's like Truckzilla

John- Well I figured I'd go all out on this car

Dean- Hey I don't care what you drive as long as the Impala is mine.

John- Now Dean me giving you this car is a privilege so I expect you to take really good care of it

Dean- Oh don't worry dad I'll take great care of my baby

Sam- You two want a minute alone or what?

Dean- Actually yeah if you don't mind

Sam- Wow!

Dean- I think I'm gonna take my new car out for a spin........ You wanna go for a ride Sammy

Sam- Yeah!

Dean- Alright lets go

Sam- Later dad

I was so happy that I finally got to ride shotgun in the Impala, up until this day the shotgun seat always belonged to Dean. Now it was mine. That is probably one of my favorite memories. I loved spending time with my big brother and the fact that he invited me to go and hang out with him. That was so cool

Dean- Man listen to that engine Sammy. This is such a beautiful car

Sam- Why don't you marry it then

Dean- If it was legally possible for me to marry this car, I would

Sam- That's a little disturbing

Dean- The love between a man and his car can't be explained. Some day you'll understand

Sam- I really don't know anything about cars. Not like you and dad do

Dean- All that means is I'll have to teach you

Sam- Really?

Dean- I'm your big brother if I don't do it who will?

Sam- I'd like that

It was moments like these when I admired my brother so much more. He actually took the time, he spent time with me and taught me things that my dad would never do.

(1998)

Another year, another school. It had been almost exactly one year since we left Truman but I still thought about it sometimes. I thought about Barry the most, I wondered how he was doing, wondering if Dirk ever left him alone, if he ever found a real friend. I really wished he had. I missed my English teacher too, he always took the time to help me, We exchanged e-mails in case I ever needed his help with anything. Even still I was really surprised when I checked my e-mail and saw that I had a message from him.

"_Dear Sam,_

_I hope you have been well, I definitely miss reading your creative papers. I wish the subject of this e-mail could be of a more happy nature. I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your friend Barry was found dead by his mother yesterday morning. The official cause of death is suicide. I know you guys were good friends and I thought you should know. I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope you are well."_

After reading that e-mail I just stared at the computer for what seemed like hours. Barry killed himself? What!? He was so sweet and harmless. I blamed myself if I never left he would probably still be alive.

Dean- Hey Sammy what's up?

Dean notices Sam's stoic expression still directed towards the computer screen

Dean- (joking) Who died?

Sam- (with no emotion) Barry

That was enough to snap Dean out of his joking mood

Dean- What!?

Sam- Um.. I got an e-mail from my old English teacher at Truman, you know..

Dean- Yeah I remember

Sam- He said that Barry's mom found him dead a couple days ago

Dean- How?

Sam-......(long pause)..... Suicide

Dean- I'm sorry man. You ok?

Sam- No, I'm not ok...

Dean had always known Sam better than anyone, so he knew exactly what was bothering him the most about this situation.

Dean- Sam, listen to me. What happened to Barry was not your fault OK. So get that out of your head right now.

Sam- But Dean..

Dean- No.. OK. I know you think you abandoned him but you didn't. There was nothing you could have done for him. You did a lot more than any other kid would have done. You can't blame yourself.

Sam- It's kind of hard not too

Dean- What happened to Barry is tragic but do you think he would want you torturing yourself. He was your friend.

Sam- I know....

Dean- Come on let's go

Sam- Where?

Dean- I don't know. For a drive, get some ice cream, see a movie, doesn't matter let's just go.

Sam- OK

John- Where you boys heading?

Dean- Uh, I thought I'd take Sammy out for some ice cream or something

John- Not today Dean we have work to do

Dean- Hey Sammy you wanna go up and grab my wallet I left it on the dresser

Sam- Yeah sure

Dean- Look, Sam just got the news that Barry committed suicide

John- Who's Barry

Dean- His friend from Truman

John- Oh, the nerdy kid.

Dean- Yeah his friend

John- Oh well I'm sorry the kid is dead but I mean this job is important

Dean- Dad. He's blaming himself and I think it would be good for him to just go out and have fun. You know try and get his mind off of things

John- No, Dean. Your brother will be fine, he's tough. He'll get over it

Dean- Dad

John- No, Dean!

Sam- What's going on?

Dean- Nothing Sammy. Come on let's go

John- Dean what did I say?

Dean- You know dad I never thought I'd say this but who cares what you said

John stood there staring daggers at Dean until the boys walked out the door. That was the first time Dean blatantly defied him. He didn't like it.

Cut to the Impala- Driving

Sam- So what was that about?

Dean- Nothing to worry about

Sam- You and Dad seemed pretty mad at each other

Dean- So, you're mad at dad all the time

Sam- Yeah but you never disagree with dad

Dean- I do sometimes

Sam- Ha, no you don't

Dean- OK so maybe I don't but this time he went a little too far

Sam- Thanks for sticking up for me

Dean- You were listening?

Sam- Of course I was listening

Dean- You're such a little creeper

Sam- Am not.

Dean- Yeah whatever. So Sammy what do you want to do? We can do anything you want, anything at all

Sam- Can we.....

Dean- Can we what Sammy?

Sam- Can we just drive...

Dean smirks down at his younger brother

Dean- Yeah Sammy you got it...

Sam smiled back up at Dean. They just kept driving for hours, most of the time they went without speaking. Dean knew Sam well enough to know that sometimes he just needed to be left alone with his thoughts. The simple act of being with Dean made Sam feel so much better. Dean always made him feel less alone, like there was someone else on the planet he could always turn to and who would always understand exactly what to do to make even the worst things go away. Dean was his protector in more ways than one. He was his hero. Dean saved him from the darkness, he saved him from the creatures in the night but most importantly he saved him from himself.

When the boys finally arrived home, Sam stopped Dean as he walked up to the house.

Sam- Dean hold up

Dean- What?

Dean turned around to see his little brother engross him in a hug. The Winchesters were never really about showing any emotion or feeling but this didn't surprise Dean. Sam never was one to follow the rules set by their father, Sam was different, he thought for himself and had his own ideas. To be honest Dean admired that about him. Then looking up at Dean, with tears in his eyes Sam thanked him.

Dean- Your welcome..... now get in the house you little dork

Sam smiled and before he let go Dean ruffled his little brothers hair and watched as he walked into the house, smiling to himself. The smile is quickly removed from Dean's face as he walks in the house to see John just standing there waiting for him.

Dean- What did you just stand there the whole time we were gone so you could yell at me the second I got home?

John- No, I saw you pull up

Dean- Oh well I'm tired, goodnight

John- Not so fast Dean, we need to talk

Dean- What more is there to say? Sammy was sad and I wanted to make him feel better, which he does if you even care

John- Of course I care, what do you think I am? Sam is my son I care about him

Dean- Sometimes I honestly wonder

John- I care Dean I just don't baby him like you do, if you treat him like a kid he is going to act like a kid

Dean- Damn it dad he is a kid! He's 15 years old!

John- But he has a huge responsibility

Dean- One that he didn't ask for

John- None of us did

Dean- Dad, you expect him to act exactly like you and me and that's not fair, he isn't us. Sam is just different, he hasn't been hardened to the world like we have. He is still just an idealistic teenager, if you push him too hard he's going to resent you

John- He already resents me. I lost his love a long time ago I think

Dean- Dad...

John- No, it's true, he looks at me like some horrible obsessed person who is taking away his childhood and why shouldn't he that's exactly what I'm doing. He looks up to you Dean, take care of him.

As John walked out of the room Dean stood looking after his father, he could never remember a time when his dad looked so small and sad.

The next morning:

Dean- Morning Sam, how ya feeling?

Sam- Better today

John- Good, because I got something to talk to you boys about

Sam- Let me guess we should start packing

John- Sam

Sam- unbelievable, we've been here for like 6 months

John- I know but I think it's for the best

Sam- For who? You?

John- For all of us

Sam- Bullshit

Dean- Sam...

Sam- No Dean I'm sick of this shit, all this moving around

John- You are such a selfish brat you know that

Sam- Me? Selfish? You've got to be kidding me, you're the selfish one dragging us around the country putting all of us in danger just because you can't face the fact that mom is gone and you couldn't stop it!

Dean- Sammy!!

John- You little bastard

Dean- Alright that's enough, Sammy outside now

Sam- No!

John- Dean you better get him to school before you're minus one brother

Dean- Sam go wait in the car

Sam- I said No!

Dean- NOW!!

Sam- Fine!

Sam slams out the door

John- What an ungrateful brat

Dean- Dad can't you understand why it might be hard for him to pick up and move again after what happened at Truman?

John- I do which is why I decided it would best to move us back to North Carolina to that school you both loved so much, I thought it might help him

Dean- Oh well why didn't you say that?

John- He didn't give me a chance, he automatically assumes everything I do is wrong or that I'm just trying to hurt him

Dean- But sometimes you do hurt him and you never take a second thought

John- I don't mean to Dean you have to believe that

Dean- I do but I'm not the one you need to convince

Dean walks out the door and climbs into the driver's side of the Impala. He looks over to see Sam staring out the passenger side window.

Dean- Sam?

Sam- What?

Dean- Dad wasn't trying to hurt you back there you know

Sam- I guess

Dean- Sam we're moving back to North Carolina

Sam- With Brooke and Kate?

Dean- Yeah

Sam- But why?

Dean- Dad thought it would help you, you know make you feel better

Sam- Why didn't he just say that in the first place?

Dean- You mean while you were tearing him a new one? I don't know

Sam- Very funny. I just get so frustrated that he never listens to me, he never does anything for me, it's all about what he wants

Dean- You honestly believe that?

Sam- You don't?

Dean- No way! Everything dad does is for you. Everything. One day you'll see. It might be years from now but one day you'll understand why dad does what he does and you'll regret how you acted to him. Trust me.

Sam- We'll see about that...... Hey Dean do you think dad hates me for what I said about mom? I didn't mean it, I was just so mad, he knows that right?

Dean- Yeah Sammy he knows

After a long day of yet another last day of school and another night of packing all their belongings the Winchesters went to bed and prepared for a long drive to North Carolina in the morning.

John- Alright Dean make sure you stay pretty close to me. I don't need you boys getting lost on the way there

Dean- Dad I know how to get there don't worry

John- Just do what I say and stay close Ok

Dean- Yes sir

Sam- It's like he thinks we're retarded

Dean- He's just being safe

Sam- Okie Dokie

Dean- Just get your ass in the car

Sam- Yes sir

Sam gives Dean a salute

Dean- Now!

Then the Winchesters make their way back to North Carolina


	4. AN

A/N:

Hey I know I haven't posted a chapter for a very long time. The reason for that mostly is due to school work, I just wanted to let anyone who cares know that I will updating this story pretty soon because I will be done with school in about a week. So expect more from this story this summer and also be expecting more stories than usual from me. I will have tons a free time very soon and a lot of it will be spent writing, viding and reading stories that I've missed. Hope you check all my new stuff out when I post it. Thanks! =)

-Sammi


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